5. Develop positive habits
As humans, we like to believe that "happiness" is the destination where there are no more challenges. Everything is easy.
In fact, it's quite the opposite. We love challenges. We thrive on challenges. We grow through challenges. We discover ourselves by being challenged. And it's not the thing itself, but your emotional state that decides whether this process of growth and challenge is enjoyable or not, in the same way that a workout can be enjoyable or grueling and painful (in the same way that a workout for an out-of-shape person can be grueling and painful).
The simple act of developing positive habits brings with it a deeply "earned" happiness. We are happy because we have surpassed ourselves.
6. Create certainty and leave room for uncertainty
If everything in your life is planned, then it's boring. If nothing in your life is planned, it's risky and uncomfortable.
Happiness lies somewhere in the middle. You want just enough certainty in your life to feel like you have something to stand on, that you're not completely in danger, but you've left the window open so spontaneity can sneak in for the occasional sleepover.
It's the spontaneous adventures that bring moments of extreme joy. But they're more enjoyable when you know you have something secure to fall back on.
7. Be vulnerable
It's scary, but there's an unparalleled happiness that comes from acts of vulnerability. These moments confirm that we are human. That we are imperfect. We open up and, as if looking in the mirror for the first time, we're able to step back and see who we are a little more clearly—for better or for worse. We accept ourselves, and we let others do the same.
Vulnerability is secrecy. As a society, we go to great lengths to hide who we are, creating masks, personas, and images to represent the parts we know will receive approval—while banishing the rest to the shadows. But all our best work comes from our vulnerability. All our happiest moments and our saddest realizations come from our vulnerability. All our deepest loves and our greatest friendships come from our vulnerability. All our art, all our music, all our creativity comes from our vulnerability.
Vulnerability is the secret to happiness—and that's why I started this article with breathing. Happiness isn't out there, waiting for you. Happiness is hidden in vulnerability, and vulnerability is hidden within you.